God

In my darkest days, I found myself begging God to alleviate the pain. I even had my husband hide the pain killers so I wouldnΓÇÖt be tempted to self-medicate, just to escape the grief for a few hours. Instead, I threw myself at God. Not because I was righteous. Not because I was brave. But because I had no other option. I remember sitting in the hospital, telling God, ΓÇ£You either have to be everything you say you are, or I am done.ΓÇ¥ It was not so much an ultimatum as it was desperation.